She was being retrospective. Using it as a form of reflection to tell me that she wished she had calculated less and made more mistakes. She had learnt to deal with the stress because she knew she had what it takes to fake faking it so good that she actually believed that she made it. She said, I misplaced my marks of beauty because ofcourse I had to be perfect according to my so called societal duties. Never realizing that consistently swallowing all of that bullshit made me lose focus of what’s actually important. My vision, to show the world that I am and always been, a Black woman and proud. But I,I just keep going round, and around and around and around in circles. Wondering, who am I?QZMER2180862

Written and performed by: Thabo “KTheChosen” Chinake Instrumental produced by: Matt "Fallennwall" Danby Recorded, mixed and mastered by: Jerome “Rome” de Gourville of Konscious Productions

(phone rings and vibrates) Hello?, yeah no.. relax I'm coming, I’m on my way. Just wait.. Slow down...dude wait, I can’t hear what you’re saying. Huh? Wait, what? No,no,no,no…she's dead?

[V1: KTheChosen] First time is surprising Leave behind the physical First they heard you coffin Now they at your funeral Don't mean to be ironic To me you are an angel Now you're home And I'm alone wiping tears from my face off But brave hearts don't cry So I Dry my eyes They ask me what is wrong And I, give em a smile I fight the feelings Fight the questions,fight the healing Fight my parents Why so much attention anytime that I am grieving Get away from me, I mean it Cos space is what I'm needing They tell me it's ok but I know that's not how I'm feeling But death is a necessary end It happens to us all whether family or friend (yeah) [Hook: Jeziah] I like the smell of the rain keeps me grounded despite the pain I like the smell of the rain Tears won't wash the hurt away [V2:KTheChosen] Second time is more awful Cos this time is more thoughtful Not that we forgot you but we don't say your name no more Didn't ask to be a martyr He was a son,she was a sister He was a father, she was a mother It doesn't matter- they were human But death is a necessary end Limited time inspires us to live Be respectful of the family You mean no harm but actually Things you share so casually Make personal matters publicly Available for people to say what they do Your tweets, they aren't evil and neither are you But reminders are painful so please be careful Yes it is an honour but please be tactful In fact, give them a second to breath From a constant feed Of hopes and prayers Double tap the snare that they read Trapped in the drum beat of a movement that they sympathize with Imagine your name becoming the hashtag in every comment (damn) [Hook: Jeziah] I like the smell of the rain keeps me grounded despite the pain I like the smell of the rain Tears won't wash the hurt away Give me more, give me more I want more, I want more Getting high off the petrichor

I can't believe she's really gone. She was like a big sister to me yet we were nothing a like. She was beautiful, outgoing and fierce. And me...well I'm still getting comfortable in my own skin. It's hard to love yourself when everybody questions who you are. The people at school are like "well, you don't look Asian" . While the Filipino community, my community says "I speak White? ". My parents say it's just kids being kids but I can see even they are struggling to fit in. They're doing their best to adjust but I can see it's hard. At least we're adjusting to moving here together . I've never met or heard about anyone in her family. She was here all alone. I...I don't even know if any of her relatives are coming for her funeral. She was a sister to me and I don't even know where she called home.

[Hook:KTheChosen] They say that I can’t I say that I can Locals only? Now that ain’t my plan But they say [Chorus:KTheChosen] Locals only Locals only We don't want you round here (hell nah) We don't want you round here Locals only Locals only We don't want you round here (hell nah) We don't want you round here Locals only Locals only We don't want you round here (hell nah) We don't want you round here Locals only Locals only We don't want you round here We don't want you around [Verse 1: KTheChosen] Picture a playground Little kids they just wanna play now Cos they mamas are working for pay now What you say now, what you say now, what you (uh) First on the playground Bell rings, big kids they come round They decide that this land is theirs now So defenseless, lil kids get pushed out They take your resources, they breaking seesaws and They left you the sandpit cos that pit was boring And then they uncover the rocks that were hidden All of sudden they have a new interest They come back to your land They got a new plan Wanna play new game and put shovel in your hand Big deeper and deeper, you wanna be the winner All the lil kids begin to step over The plot that is yours, you break out in war Lil kids they dying, they die by the score Big kids they seen this, they seen this before But let it play out cos what matters more The life of the poor? Life of the people who were here before? Or what we could make if we just ignore What kinda future are we setting up for? [Hook: KTheChosen, TRIBETheArtist and Chantal Stormsong Chagnon] They say that I can’t I say that I can Locals only? Now that ain’t my plan They say that I can’t I say that I can Locals only? No that ain’t my plan [Verse 2: TRIBETheArtist] Well, They say that I can’t I say that I will I think it’s bout time We get us a meal They holding back trillions They took from the treaties Then hold it in trust But it’s our money legally Then force us to lock-in Phenomenal rates And who gets the interest? The federal-state Then short us our budgets On purpose and place And force us To borrow our own money mang And fucked up for us We can’t seem to make change They say we get freedom Just give up your claim Greed is the reason They take us away And undercut funding Grade 10 down to K With No lawyers No legal No steak in the claim No control of our assets We’re begging for change Dang And they say (laughs) [Bridge: Chantal Stormsong Chagnon] *Vocables* Change

V1 Baby got that back Man that ass was so ample She a whole snack Take a bite like an Apple Shawty got that booty And she moving it so smoothly It's obviously it's all for me So I put my plank on that Oh she don't like that So I poured her a glass Feeling tipsy Now she want see my pad Helicopter how I rotate that ass Home girl hating man she blocking my pass Like rugby cos I tri It's like three sumin, I'm tired She want a threesome cos she's bi I'm like more for me so that's fine (fine) It's too loud, I can't hear her Vision blurred, wanna get near her Friend in the way so I gotta sneak past her Persistent, so you know I steer her (skrrr) Right out of the door Bouncer has seen this before So he asks no questions Home girl think she missing 5-oh she start calling Only Sirens in her bedroom Boarded up we need head room Kill the pussy need a tomb Gotta leave if the flower bloom Cos I plant my seed anywhere boo Disappear like Cassper do Got the nut and you did too We just chasing tail like dogs do (woof) Hook1 Chickas with good features turn a fella to a dawg It's just in our nature, that club culture is to bone Oowee in that coochie, I might give yo ass a baby Ask me if I'll call her, Imma hit her with a maybe Chickas with good features turn a fella to a dawg It's just in our nature, that club culture is to bone Oowee in that coochie, I might give yo ass a baby Ask me if I'll call her, Imma hit her with a maybe (With a maybe) V2 No need to be impatient I watch her from a distance She's eyeing me and I move in closer but only with her permission Let's me know she available, put hands up to Single Ladies (woh oh oh oh) Tempting me with her behind, I'm tryna be her JayZ (no no no) Gotta che4ck with the BeeHive what the Plan B Her friend seems so friendly Might switch up if I attempt to take her home with me Then I feel a tap on my shoulder Turn round it's the bartender He points to her friend Who's about to fall over I guide her to a chair Then I give her some water I call her an Uber and turn on the location Home girl what you saying Take my number down So when she's home safe and sound You can let me know to come around She said cool and that was smooth She said she liked me,I did too But she told me she had to go so I said that I'd see her soon I looked up at the moon and thought what a beautiful view Her eyes said I could get it and if I ask right I just might Patience, my kryptonite But I'm tryna make it to the crib tonight So I listen to some good +vice And chill [ice effect]like a glass of ice She pour me, meant call me I liqour, I mean answer She's laughs at my mistakes Then tells me to come over (come over) Hook2 I like girls,that like me That makes sense, logically I said I like girls, that like me Let's have sex, consensually I like girls,that like me That makes sense, logically I said I like girls, that like me Let's have sex, consensually

People often ask how I do the work that I do when I'm...well ...you know... asexual. I say it's no different from an actor playing a villain in a movie. They're not a psychopath or killer in real life (or at least I hope they aren't) but when the cameras are on, they play a character. It's just role play (laughs) It's the same for me, I play a character but my stage happens to have a pole on it. That's show business right? Just trying to please some horny guy in a suit. (Brief pause) Judge all you want. She knew I had to pay these ridiculous tuition fees somehow and she never judged me for it. She even came to visit me at work sometimes. She hated it there but she'd make sure I got home safely, every night. She'd never been one to complain but lately it seemed like all she ever did was bitch about her father. He was planning to visit next month and I guess the thought of seeing him after all these years made her anxious. I never asked why she stopped talking to him in the first place but I guess now...I'll never know.

[Verse 1:KTheChosen] Hello sir with no disrespect Just met your son he's a bit of a dick Can't cry and he's proud of it Can't express emotion cos you thought him how to bottle it He hates conflict, saw them break up twice One side chick and two wives Three different sets of kids and you wonder why Marriage was never something that he wanted in his life I hate to be the one to comment on your relationship (woo) If she was happy she wouldn't have the bitterness (woo) Wouldn't be teaching avoidance to your kids Bad parenting will affect their development Attachment theory can teach us better We reflect the love that we see from our elders Don't just be a provider Be a protector, a lover, befriend your partner [Hook] Indava Mudara (mudara) Chiiko? Chiiko?(Aizve) Chiiko? Chiiko? Vana ava mudara-ah-ah-ah (ay, ay,ay) Varatidze rudo-rudo Rudo, rudo [Verse 2:KTheChosen] Hello sir, with all disrespect I'm in love with your daughter but she's kind of a bitch Independent but dependent on a man's word Don't believe it but knows tradition put's man first More angry than beautiful More loud than intellectual Festishsized, overly sexualized On her knees when it's spiritual Or familial like an uncle That you trust too much Just ignore his touch Family don't talk about it, just sweep it under the rug Now she can't even stand a hug From a stranger Cos it feels like too much, it brings up trauma How could you neglect to protect your daughter Instead, you just guard your Ego How far you will go She will creep on the low Searching for daddy in other people [Hook] Indava Mudara (mudara) Chiiko? Chiiko?(Aizve) Chiiko? Chiiko? Vana ava mudara-ah-ah-ah (ay, ay,ay) Varatidze rudo-rudo Rudo, rudo [Verse 3: Soko Matemai] I just wanna talk to the man Maybe you will understand Even though you want what's best for your kids It really doesn't mean kuti havana ma plans Vanotoriwo nema dreams and ambitions But they still need your support and assistance Kwete mari bedzi Emotionally, chimbozamai ku reducer distance Muve pedyo nevana Taurai navo muzive zviri muhana Don't choose mukomana over musikana Kana the opposite, vakangofanana Tese hatingaite ma lawyer, ma doctor Kune vano actor nevanotamba soccer Children are the future, but the time is now Vapei mukana they will make you proud Wow

Girl: Thanks again for coming,I appreciate it Guy2: Yeah of course Guy1: For sure, will surely be missed. I don’t dress up for anyone Guy2: Yeah but look at you,look at you man Guy1: Thank you Guy2: And it was a beautiful service actually Girl:I’ll be right back, just going to the bathroom Guy2:Ok cool, we’ll be right here. See you later Guy1: So like,are you finally going to ask her out or what are we saying here? Guy2: Bro..like what? She just lost a good friend, we just lost a good friend..um, I don’t understand how can you be thinking about that right now... Guy1:I know but that's just it bro. Hear me out Guy2: Ok? Guy1:You know the saying, we only get to “YOLO” once Guy2:Uh what? Guy1:And maybe this is a sign. I don’t know. I know this probably isn’t the most appropriate time.. Guy2: Definitely not Guy1:But I just think you guys would make a great couple is all Guy2:Based on what? The fact that she's good looking? Guy1: Uh, yeah! Guy2: Nah nah, ok look bro. I don’t like her like that and I'm tired of people saying being with this girl, you'd be the next Will and Jada or date that mixed chick, your kids would have beautiful eyes. Like sure but why can't I like someone based on the beauty of their soul? Guy1: Oh my god, are you seriously… Guy2:I’m serious dude Guy1:You’re serious? Guy2: Yeah, like you know me. Like I just want to get married once. I don’t want to get divorced. Just love for life and that’s it Guy1:Yup, that sounds like you definitely Guy2:Exactly and that’s what I’m saying. I just want someone that’s as beautiful on the inside...as they are on the outside Guy1:Ok, stop stop (laughing) Guy2:What? Guy1: Ok, ok I gotchu. Ok, alright,I’ll back off Guy2: Thank you

[Hook] Fell in love with a gentleman Every time that I open the door She be loving on the sentiment Should we take it further man she isn't sure This a game of love, feeling like tennis We going back and forth This a game of love, feeling like tennis Let's even the score Fell in love with a gentleman Every time that I open the door She be loving on the sentiment Should we take it further man she isn't sure This is a game of love, feeling like tennis We going back and forth This is a game of love, feeling like tennis Ball is in your court [Verse 1] Yeah, the Melinda to my Bill Don't go ducking gates if I try to let you in Won't Lego of this love, with you I wanna build You've heard it all before, you got your reservations still Lemme tell you how men think They be focusing on things so irrelevant They talk about the women that they didn't hit They be thinking bout opportunities they missed Women think so hella different They be thinking of the ones that they made love to People treat them so different Telling women that it affect their value They get bodied by body counts If you're a man you get praise for great amounts Don't understand how you can build a house I got a plan girl let me show you how We can change the system But I need assistance If you are Jordan than I am Pippen You can call us goals cos we stay winning On the run like we world touring (ah) Trips to France will only last If we look past all the roles and expectations Hold the phone, you're not alone We'll take the call for destiny if it's together We're a team, it's you and me Against the league, chances could not be better That's the plan, hand in hand Who needs six rings when one could last forever [Hook] Fell in love with a gentleman Every time that I open the door She be loving on the sentiment Should we take it further man she isn't sure This a game of love, feeling like tennis We going back and forth This a game of love, feeling like tennis Let's even the score Fell in love with a gentleman Every time that I open the door She be loving on the sentiment Should we take it further man she isn't sure This is a game of love, feeling like tennis We going back and forth This is a game of love, feeling like tennis Ball is in your court [Verse 2] Take your time, ain't no rush when you working towards love Please don't lie, play your part cos we working towards trust We ain't opponents, we on the same side of the court So what are you fighting me for? Even power couples drink lemonade but we gotta make it out elevator Cos Black love is a thing to behold Our story still needs to be told Entanglements, man we want none of those Or I Will show myself to the door Oh no,no key Can't creep on the low in these streets Paparazzi, they don't sleep Black breakups they know get more tweets [Outro] Can't share our bodies with no body Whole time the media be watching One click is all that they wanting While we tryna love in private Can't share our bodies with no body Whole time the people be judging One clip is all that they're wanting To be alone with you is all I wanted

You two better not be talking about what I think I heard. You know what? I'm actually done with rappers. First it was J.Cole and Noname then Tory and Meg. If you claim to be such fans of women, instead of making them love interests in your sad boy mixtapes or villains in your Darkseid stories, why don't you use your so-called “allyship” to give them a platform to speak for themselves?

[Hook:KTheChosen] Call her Barbara cos she got her bars up Spit some, twerk some Yeah, this the anthem (what) Call her Barbara cos she got her bars up Spit some, twerk some Yeah, this the anthem (what) Call her Barbara cos she got her bars up Spit some, twerk some Yeah, this the anthem (what) Barbara(wait what) bars up Spit some, twerk some Yeah son, we going platinum (ah!) [Verse 1: Dorsa Lena] Everyone in my crew bad, Up in the club we make all the hos mad Move it like (ha) go stupid go crazy Yeah I think he love me he want me to have his babies But hold up, (woah), lemme see ya grill When i buss down make him wanna spend a mill Shake it go harder, get that new car, Tell him what you want baby you can have it all Be the main character, get like me I can sing, I can spit, and I'm gettin a degree Knees vibranium, brain like cranium Ahe might be the stage, but baby I'm the stadium And i'm a lil stallion, you know And i got the fatty too, Pop Smoke I be wiilin on the beat, You know me, I be snappin when I rap, Don't get caught lackin baby (haa) [Verse 2: BVitae] That Africanista Junglista Out here with a message to my goddesses, my Sistas The game changer, boss feminista Sippin from fountains of youth with some queens, time to feast up Lookin good in Hedi Slimane and Ann Demeulemeester Supermodel energy, androgynous fashionista Still street got a few thangs to teach ya Bout to break down how I keep I keep these wheels greased up Armed with intuition, aced alley way academics Outran the enemy ..thanks to these blessed genetics Intelligence off the charts,figure firm and athletic, Code to my success , biologically embedded Nefertiti sweetie the profile is iconic My cadence been wet from birth, so fluid it’s amniotic They though I “lacked” the confidence, but those “L”s were periodic Started at the bottom now I’m here, isn’t it ironic [Verse 3: ZheTheFree] Imma lay out what it means as a woman on the scene Immaculate with my direction, drip infectious stay a Queen I’m a rap world wonder while you wasting in your hate Lil upsy with ,my eloquence unless I’m center stage Stand strong, legs long Be too clear who runs this shit I’m on ,Sask hard Battle cry cos it’s a win Way I’m living, double vision Make you think there two of me Cause the grind I be on top of Is too much for you to reach Got the gold and I only share it with the good souls If you in my circle then you real and you know Energy infectious, flow of ancestors’ direction Better change up your perspective Royal speed and you can’t catch it You need a new directive if you mean to silence ZHE Rap the free-est like my lifestyle, all my bars fire,you feel the heat Coming hottest like the Summer Got all genders with my number Honey sweet as all my lyrics But I’m nasty so you fear it [Hook:KTheChosen, Dorsa, BVitae & ZheTheFree] Call her Barbara cos she got her bars up Spit some, twerk some Yeah, this the anthem (what) Call her Barbara cos she got her bars up Spit some, twerk some Yeah, this the anthem (what) Call her Barbara cos she got her bars up Spit some, twerk some Yeah, this the anthem (what) Barbara(wait what) bars up Spit some, twerk some Yeah son, we going platinum

I'm going to miss her. She's the one who told me to keep writing no matter how hard it seemed to relive the experiences on paper. I wouldn't be where I am without her and I wish I could've told her that. The last thing I said to her was that I hated her because she didn't understand. She didn't know what it was like to smile through the pain and be strong for everyone around you even though your own world is crumbling. Her life always seemed so perfect. We just used to drink and have fun. I had no idea what she was going through but that's her fault! She never told me, never told anyone! Didn't she trust me? Didn't she know, I loved her?

[Verse1] Pick up the pieces play you part Protect your nieces and their hearts Predators lurk in the dark Don't love you 3,000 like Mr. Stark But they Iron Man though There's a huge hole In the place where their heart go Much darkness like a black hole Watch vortex sucking your soul| Woah, cycle of hurt It's a relay and they ran it first Pass it on can't break the curse Treat the pain by chasing skirts That's cars and or a broad But you won't go far Till you feel the wounds, address those scars Heal the wounds and accept those scars Beautiful people do the ugliest things But we,know not the struggles that they battle within And they, don't talk to friends or confess to their kin So they,turn to vices, evil and sin So we pray, every day That they finally find their way Man our egos are so fragile Any second they could break But a second all it takes To be thankful for mistakes Put the pieces back together And get stronger every day No delay, want it all today We can make a change Take the pieces of the puzzle And we slowly rearrange Get the picture that we wanted The future in the frame No losing track of time because we gotta catch the train To a place that we call home, we no longer feel alone Yeah we put it all together with a river made of gold Man they be so clever using wisdom from the old Finding beauty in the broken is the token to feel whole [Hook] Don't despair (no way) Golden repair (just wait) Nothing to fear (go away) Golden repair (yeah, yeah) Don't despair (no way) Golden repair (just wait) Nothing to fear (go away) Golden repair (yeah, yeah) Yeah yeah oh Golden repair Yeah yeah yeah [Bridge] Don't despair (no way,way,way,way) Golden repair (just wait) Nothing to fear (go away,way,way,way) Golden repair [Verse2] Guess I'll see you tomorrow If you believe in samora If not we failed to connect Like a 404 error Never thought throne day we wouldn't be together You were always there You were my daily protector We forget the strongest among us are also human Lost in love and lust and all that consuming That we lose track of time Of what is yours and what is mine Carried the weight of the world Despite the weight on your spine You were special, always there till the end You passed on, without a single regret It wasn't murder, an overdose, or the Internet We loved you but let you die from neglect